Friday, March 27, 2009

Self portraits

I am always the person taking the pictures, not the person in the pictures. I am okay with this, especially after my scary photo session today. I got a haircut that I really like and I knew it would never again look the way it looked after the hairdresser blew it dry since I'm a brush and go, leave it to air dry kind of girl. I also know that my hair tends to have a mind of its own and it only holds a style for about 2 nanoseconds before it reverts to form. So I came home and immediately got out the camera. Now I realize that self portraits taken from a camera you are holding in front of your own nose only at the purely pitiful distance your stubby little arms can reach are destined to be hideous but *this* hideous? Hoo boy! I think I took in the neighborhood of 7 trillion pictures and got one that isn't too ugly to admit to. I range from looking like I am wacked out on on some sort of really good drug combo to looking like I am Jay Leno's older, bigger chinned sister. I was always under the impression I was rather cute. Apparently I'm more than wrong, I am completely deluded. Either that or I am the most unphotogenic human being on the planet. Did the rest of you know that my nose was that long and that my skin was that red and patchy? What about the droopy eyelid thing? Did you all know I had that and just thought it was kinder not to tell me? And what about the one eye higher than the other thing? Why didn't someone tell me that my upper lip is unattractively skinny and my eyebrows are crazy weird? I won't even get into my ears since the picture I settled on has my hair over them, hiding their largeness fairly effectively. Wrinkles, did you all think I'd never notice the wrinkles if I didn't see a photo of myself again? Is that why I always get to be the photographer? Sakes alive, I'm not sure who the woman in this photograph is but she's not nearly as cute as the person I see in the mirror (nevermind that the mirror person is obviously a hallucination!). I think I'm going to use the excuse a (strange) long ago friend always used when asked about pictures of himself: "I don't translate well to two dimensions." But I guess if you read through this, you've earned the right to see my newest haircut, just ignore the rest and remember I am much cuter than this picture (could I get you to believe I'm far less grey too?).


  1. I saw your message on facebook, so I had to jump over here and look. And you look great, silly! When I spit coffee out, it was from reading your note, not looking at the picture!

  2. Love the looks great on you!

  3. It's a very confusing picture -- if you took it at home, why can't I see your bookshelves?
    You look good though.

  4. Thanks for the compliments. And Beth, the reason there are no bookshelves is because I took it in front of the mirror (in the bathroom) so I could try and choose a human looking expression. Clearly didn't work so well. My mom just called and said she didn't even think it looked like me (and the haircut isn't that drastic) and that I am much cuter than this picture shows. Since my mom says so, it must be true. Just sayin'.

  5. That's a fine photo, Kristen. Although I must confess that you look nothing like I remember/imagine.
    And as a fellow non-photogenic, I LOVE the 'don't translate to two dimensions' comment!


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