Whenever I feel the need to defend myself and my book buying habit, I chirp "I could always have a worse addiction." Now obviously this is very true but if I really examine the problem, it is indeed a problem. I use books and the buying of them to combat depression. I buy books all the time, a few (or more than a few) every month but when I am feeling really down, I do a retail therapy blowout at whatever bookstore happens to be the closest. And I haven't been Suzy Sunshine lately so my library has grown by leaps and bounds. 30 minutes in the bookstore equalled about $150 less in the checking account. This is not a good thing. And my husband will be horrified although he knows me well enough by now that he probably knows a whopper of a book bill is about to land in his lap given my attitude lately.
Worse, when I am depressed, I read far less than usual so the library grows by leaps and bounds with no hope of me actually making a dent in the obscenely large tbr pile. I think I keep buying in hopes that I will find something that catches my attention and diverts it from whatever other stuff is making me feel like Eyeore. But I am a slow learner so no matter how much I intellectually know that buying the books won't fix things, I do it anyway. Pure-D definition of an addiction, right? I guess I'll have to cling to the belief that it's a good thing that I'm only addicted to books and not something that could potentially kill me (well, unless an overloaded bookshelf falls on me). And I will eventually work my way out of my depression and low-grade discontent and then I'll be glad I have the much expanded tbr stacks from which to pull the next read.
Oh ... is a book-buying addiction a BAD thing?? :-D I know what you mean about having difficulty reading when you're depressed. That can be one of the hardest things about depression -- it deprives you of something that's always been a source of pleasure and an escape.
ReplyDeleteFound your post through The Sunday Salon. Without having read your blog to know what kind of books you like, I would recommend reading The Sugar Queen by Sarah Addison Allen. It made me happy reading it, maybe it will do the same for you. I'll be checking out the rest of your blog later. You can find mine at thecrowdedleaf.wordpress.com.
ReplyDeleteAlayne
Oh Kristen, your post could have been written by me or my daughter We both feel the need to reward ourselves by shopping when we are depressed I've always said it's better that booze or drugs, but yup, I guess it still is an addiction.
ReplyDeleteI read a lot less, and just seem to move from spot to spot, book to book when depressed, but eventually snap out of it. I hope you are in a temporary slump only... HUGS
I know you said you shop to cheer you up, but I also think that most people have a collecting gene. In my many years on the internet, I've moved among several different communities and one thing they've all had in common is a desire to collect things connected to their interest. The knitters collect yarn, the sewers collect fabric, the hobby gamers collect boardgames, and the sci-fi/fantasy geeks collect figurines, books, DVDs, and any other memorabilia that represents their favorite characters. I am missing this gene, so my participation in these groups usually ends quickly. At least with books, I can go to the library and still be one of the gang :-).
ReplyDeleteGive yourself a break, Kristen.
ReplyDeleteHow much do drugs cost anyway? What if you were hooked on cocaine? I bet it would cost $150 a day if you were hooked on cocaine. So there.
I'm a big book buyer when I'm depressed as well. But really, who wants to read books that might be depressing when you're already depressed. Sounds like you have a tbr pile like mine!
ReplyDeleteI spend money when I'm depressed too, and then I get more depressed for having spent it!
ReplyDeleteI'm much better about new book purchases than ever before in my life. I go to Borders, have coffee and buy a quilt or food magazine.
Now if I could just stay out of Target.
I tend to buy books when I'm bored, maybe that's a form of depression since it is lonely here in nowheresville. I think there are much worse, more costly addictions to have. Maybe you would be happier by helping others, like being a literacy volunteer at your local library. I guess you'd be surrounded by books and helping someone out.
ReplyDeleteThen again, you help out authors when you support their books. I just hope that if you truly are depressed, you can get some help and feel better, also get back on the reading wagon, what good is owning books if you don't read them?
I feel so guilty overspending on books, too. But you're right.. it's a good thing they're only books. Hope you feel better soon. I'm very much like you when down. Not reading very much, but wanting to hoard a lot.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I do the same thing. Only now I only to visit charity shops or library book sales for my book-buying needs. At least it's cheaper.
ReplyDeleteCan I just say I love that all of you pretty much gave me a pass on the book buying while depressed?! I plan to send my husband to your comments when he notices the big book bill in the checkbook. LOL!
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