Belated Holiday Greetings from Our House to Yours

We hope you all enjoy the photo on the card. K. had been hoping the boys would clean themselves up for it. Instead, R. donned her own beard. If that doesn’t sum up year two of a pandemic, I don’t know what does. In many ways, although it felt like the year that wasn’t, we did actually do some stuff beside eat foods of questionable age out of the freezer. Another year of pandemic, another year of the K, year in review. So here’s 2021 for your reading pleasure:

January: No idea. Pretty sure we sat around the house watching the paint peel, just like the rest of you.

February: K. had eye surgery this month. She’s worn glasses/contacts since 7th grade so it was confusing for her brain to see things clearly. Old dog, new tricks and all of that. In between having her eyes done (one at a time), she definitely proved how old she was by developing a kidney stone and ending up in the ER. Because she always strives to be exceptional, it was huge (6mm) and lithotripsy was out of the question. So she turned into the best hydrated person on the planet to try and flush it out (literally).

March: K. continued to have to pee through a sieve as last month’s kidney stone slowly worked towards her bladder. She turned 50 this month and got her vaccine too. You know she’s officially old if she’s sharing all of her health problems! For the drive-thru vaccine clinic, she forgot to wear clothing that would make her arm easily accessible, so she stripped off to her bra at a stoplight on her way. Apologies to anyone who had to witness that! She did find a rain poncho in the car to put on so she wasn’t half naked but with only one button holding the two sides together, she had to do some creative seatbelt and poncho origami to keep herself even kind of covered up. The charades version of this story is way better than the written version. Sorry.

April: After K.’s thousandth urologist appointment and no stone ever appearing in the sieve, an x-ray showed it had completely disappeared. Clearly she’s magic (or medically weird but that seems to amount to the same thing here). D. and K. went to the unofficial Sailing Parents Weekend at Miami to hang out with the T. and the crazy (see why T. fits right in?) sailors. D. thoroughly enjoyed reliving his college party years. The less said about that, the better. R. and her boyfriend adopted a stray kitten this month. If you want to really stress D. out, call Huron his grandcat.

May: R. started an internship in Columbus this month and got to enjoy living with Aunt C. Meanwhile, in North Carolina, we started a master bathroom renovation. K., having learned from last year’s construction disasters, left for Michigan with T. and his girlfriend in hopes of avoiding all the chaos. She chose everything before she left but no one will be surprised to know that there were numerous emails and Facetime calls for opinions and decisions anyway.

June: T. became the third K. to work at Les Cheneaux Culinary School as a waiter. As far as we know he did not spill on anyone, not even us when we went in to harass him.
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July: Since R. was moving from one house to another several streets over and had no furniture of her own, K. and D. unloaded the basement into a U-Haul and drove from Charlotte to Cincinnati to provide her, her boyfriend, and a roommate with more stuff than they ever wanted. It was all given to her with an explicit “no give backs” clause. K. returned the U-Haul with both wing mirrors still attached, which was in doubt there for a while given the narrow, narrow streets near the U. of C. T. worked at sailing camp again this year. One of these years he’s going to learn something. 😉

August: K. formally became the Communications Chair for the yacht club up by the cottage, a position she agreed to last winter when she was pandemic bored. T. sailed in Ensign Nationals in Marquette this month. He delayed going back to school by a couple of days when he was invited to sail in it and their boat ended up taking third overall. He loved every minute of it, blistered hands and all.

September: D. started traveling again this month. Everyone will be thrilled to learn that he didn’t lose any status on the airlines or at hotels because of the pandemic. I guess they don’t take away anybody’s goodies when no one is going anywhere. Such a relief! (Blatant sarcasm intended.) W. organized a cousin’s meet-up this month in Cincinnati for the Miami-Cincinnati game since 4 W. grandchildren go to Miami, one to Cincinnati, and W. just loves college football. Pretty sure we only heard the sanitized version of that get together. Miami hosted the Acton Up Regatta this month. R. sailed in it (UC took first) and T., aka Bandaid Boy (the team’s Safety Officer), was on the committee boat. T. says UC only won because he wasn’t sailing in it. We’re all still looking forward to the first time the two youngest Ks sail head to head. No idea who will win but there sure will be some spectacular smack talk in the lead up to it. T. sailed in his first college regatta at the Buckeye Invite since last year’s stuff was all unsanctioned and unofficial. Ask him about the wind speed (practically non-existent) if you want to hear his excuses for their 8th place finish (UC took first although R. didn’t sail in it). All five Ks went up to Columbus for Dave’s dad’s 80th birthday at the end of the month.

October: K. and D. headed to Ohio for a second weekend in a row for Miami Parents Weekend. T. and R. were probably tired of seeing them so frequently but neither of them turned down meals, gas, and resupplies on mom and dad’s credit card. We’re considering that a win.

November: D. turned 50 this month and the only thing that made hitting that milestone birthday okay for him was anticipating his birthday trip to Cancun in December (on which our boat was pulled over by the Mexican police, because of course it was).

And every month, Samuel (Sammy) L. Catson (5 or 6?) continued to tolerate us since we are the keepers of the treats, Ozzie (3) resented being picked up and snuggled because he’s a cat for Pete’s sake, and Gatsby (11) snored happily on K.’s lap because you can always count on a dog’s love.

As the year comes to a close, we once again hope that you are surrounded by peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas to all of you!

I know we said we didn’t know if there was going to be a 2020 version of this letter but why should you get to skip it just because the year has been hideous? Maybe our rotten year will make your rotten year a little more palatable. Consider it our gift to you this holiday season, or maybe it’s just piling on, but in either case, you’re welcome. Without any further ado, the K. 2020 year in review:

January: T.’s senior season of indoor track was a bust after he injured his leg. We hoped that rest and PT would make for a better spring season. Little did we know. Also this month, we fostered another cat. We are terrible at this as Sammy is now and forever a K.

February: K. was sick. Like sick sick. Was it COVID? Probably not but she didn’t even read for a week so whatever it was was incredibly unpleasant. D. was traveling hither, thither, and yon during this month so he should probably keep his hotel and flight status next year despite the rest of this year. Yes, he’s one of the people who get to board practically before the pilots. Jerk.

March: T. turned 18 this month. Everyone is an adult now, at least chronologically. The statewide stay at home order meant that we had (adult) kids at home again as R. stayed here after her spring break extended to forever and T.’s senior year was just declared finished. K. took the opportunity to inventory the freezers and the pantry. Ask her just how many jars of pickles and varieties of mustard we have. Also, in case you need to know, veggies frozen since 2010 are a little dry once thawed, meat frozen since 2014 is a tad tough, and no amount of partially used sauce from who knows what year in the fridge door will make this dinner taste amazing. But none of the above causes food poisoning. Silver linings, people, silver linings.

April: We had a flurry of activity this month: a pipe burst in the yard, we finally replaced the fence to keep the dog from escaping and visiting the neighborhood when she should have been social distancing, and K. organized field trips to the grocery store for the extroverts climbing the walls while she herself worked on creating a body shaped divot on the couch. She also tried to give the dog a haircut. The result was the doggy version of a mullet. She used the dog clippers on D. with better results. At least he thinks so since neither he nor his Zoom coworkers could see the back. And the culinary experiments continued as we tested the shelf life of Velveeta (less than 3 years, fyi).

May: R. graduated virtually at the kitchen table wearing her jammies, cap, and gown. We hadn’t seen the plumber in a while so it was fantastic to have him here for R.’s graduation (the kids’ shower was leaking onto K.’s car in the garage). And that wasn’t our only water adventure this month. D.’s office in the basement leaked during the monsoon-like rains we had and grew mold on the carpet. D. is allergic to mold.

June: T. had his virtual graduation this month (the wifi died just before they flashed T.’s name on the screen so we just assumed he was listed) and we drove through the high school parking lot to pick up his diploma. It was nice to see he did in fact graduate—see wifi issue above. We practically peeled out of the parking lot to head to Michigan for the summer. W. and his girlfriend joined us up north for a week and life almost felt normal.

July: We spent most of our time hanging out on the island, where social distancing is pretty much our way of life, even in normal years. R. worked at Culinary School up there for another year (all internships having been canceled) while T. didn’t work at all, his job being a COVID casualty.

August: We took R. up to the University of Cincinnati to start her Masters in Architecture this month. Classes were all online but she had access to the studio and shop for her projects. She also got to learn how to parallel park a stick shift on a hill, a dying skill for sure. T. started college from our dining room table this month so Ozzie, like cats everywhere, got to share his backside with yet more classes (he debuted his waving tail and backside in R.’s classes back in the spring).

September: D. lost his mom to cancer this month. Despite that terribly sad happening, we were happy to finally take T. up to Miami of Ohio for a modified college experience. He was thrilled to be in college *at college* while K. and D. were less impressed to hear that he sometimes fell asleep during his classes since he was attending them from the comfort of his bed. They were also baffled by his random corn cob pictures. ::Shrug::

October: T. was sailor of the week for the sailing club and competed in his first college regatta. Mostly they’ve just had practices (and only the one regatta) so we think he got this honor simply for showing up to the lake on really cold days. At home with only pets underfoot, we decided to replace all of the floors on the first floor. Nothing we do goes smoothly and it’s still not entirely finished. Ask about it if you want a rant from K.

November: R. came home this month to bury Needles, her hedgehog. We bought a hedgehog garden ornament to mark his grave and apparently the hawks in the backyard think it’s real because it has moved several times since it was installed. R. did go back to Ohio after the internment and then she and T. drove home together for Thanksgiving. They’ll be home until mid-January when school starts up again. Before they came home, T. got elected Safety Officer for the sailing club’s spring season. It’s exactly the position he wanted—a leadership role without too much responsibility. Aim high kid!

We’ve seen more of the plumbers, painters, HVAC, leak detection specialists, carpenters, and other home improvement people this year than friends and family. 2020 has been an annus horribilis for sure but it’s almost over. Don’t let the doorknob hit you in the a$$ on the way out! As the year comes to a close, we once again hope that you are surrounded by peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year. And maybe in 2021, we’ll get to see you in the wild once again!

Merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine

Can you believe this is the 25th year of the K. Christmas letter? Yes, 25 years of oversharing. How did you get so lucky? As the last of the kids flies the nest, this may be the end of an era in many ways since we old folks aren’t nearly entertaining enough to sustain an entire letter. It’ll be like your very own Christmas mystery: will there still be a letter next year? Who knows? What there likely will still be, annual letter or not, is cracked kitchen tiles. Yes, two years in and there’s still cracked tile. Cracked tiles? Perpetual. Annual letter? Still here this year at least, so for your reading pleasure maybe one last time, the K. 2019 year in review:

January: We really stink at the fostering animals game. Ozzie, the craziest, zoomiest of cats arrived in our house to be fostered. Three days later when the rescue coordinator called to say there had been an application for him, we voted to deny that person and keep him ourselves. The vote was unanimous amongst humans, the lone dissenter being Gatsby.

February: Unlike in previous years, where “indoor” track resulted in a lot of freezing cold polar bear meets, T. actually got to go to the indoor meets this year. He even qualified for states and didn’t finish last. We were happy to be warm and he was happy to be one of the top 18 boys pole vaulters in the state.

March: K. got the worst birthday present ever this year. Cancer. A small, raised mole turned out to be melanoma. Brooding and eating her feelings ensued for the rest of the month.

April: K. took T. on several college visits during spring break this month. It was a complete success (if by success you mean figuring out where he didn’t want to go to school). After they got home, K. had surgery to remove more skin and check to see if the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. They got clean margins and the lymph nodes were negative so barring stepping off a curb and being hit by a bus, she should be around for a long time to irritate the whole family. This month, T. won The Dick. Yes, this is what the boys call the all-boys Dick Williams Track Invitational. God bless seventeen year old boys! Prom was also this month and K. had the genius idea to host T.’s friends for a post-prom breakfast and sleepover so she’d know they were all safe (and so she could eavesdrop on them). D. slept soundly through the whole thing.

May: W. graduated from college this month and started his job search. As we all already knew, being a bona fide grown up isn’t nearly as liberating as he thought. Also this month, we took in another foster cat named Snow. Did I mention that we’re bad at fostering? She’s now a K. too (although she lives with W. in Greensboro as she’s happier being an only cat).

June: Just like last year, on the way up north, K. and D. stopped off in Wooster for his 25th college reunion. D. was far better behaved at the reunion than he ever was in college. Does that make him (us) mature or just old? W. and his girlfriend T. joined us in Wooster and then followed K. up to Michigan while D. flew off to San Francisco again. Mean things you can do to a southern girl up north? Why, convince her to jump in the freezing cold water, of course. Despite the fact that she probably thinks we were trying to drown her (google “cold water gasp reflex”), we actually do like her a lot and she was a good sport once she warmed back up. W. got a job with Ruger this month although his start date wasn’t until September.

July: R. had an internship in Tampa this summer so she got to experience life in K.’s sister’s family and confirm the genetic basis of the craziness. For much of this month, her boss went on vacation, so R. did too. Her boss went to Spain; Reid did not. It was wonderful that all three kids got to be up north again together one last time.

August: T. crewed on an ensign sailboat again throughout the summer. He’s almost 60 years younger than the captain and the rest of the crew. He had a blast with his (old) guys and the combination of youth and experience came in 1st for the season and 2nd in the Regatta. Not too bad for three septuagenarians and a teenager. We had to head home this month as both R. (college) and T. (high school) started their respective senior years.

September: W. and Snow moved to Greensboro so he could start his job this month. K. and D. drove a U-Haul with his bedroom furniture up to him. W. was less concerned with the fact that this was the only furniture he owned than he was by the stress of dealing with getting internet. R. turned 21 this month. That’s two kids who are offered the beer and wine menu at restaurants now. (Well, three given T.’s beard, but two that could actually order from it legally.)

October: K. took T. to Wisconsin on a college visit this month. She might have enjoyed seeing old friends and visiting the Farmer’s Market for fresh cheese curds more than T. liked the school though. Just an FYI: even in Wisconsin, TSA makes you unpack your carry-on to show them the cheese curds aren’t dangerous. D. then took T. to Ohio for college visits and we think we now know where T. will be next year as long as the school(s) agree. While they were gone, K. went to Winston-Salem to be on a panel about books and book clubs. Given how she feels about public speaking, it’s a pretty good bet she went only because the bookstore gave her a special visitor discount for the day. D. was traveling a lot, even before the college visits, and he managed to pick up the flu somewhere and bring it home. Luckily neither T. nor K. got sick but it reminded K. that bedroom furniture in W.’s former room would not be a bad idea so she doesn’t get coughed or breathed on when D. has the plague.

November: This is the month that T. hit apply on the college applications. K. headed to New Orleans to speak on another panel. Yes, it was about books. Yes, half her suitcase was full of books when she headed home. Yes, these panels seem to be surprisingly expensive. ::shrug:: Thanksgiving morning we woke up to a yard full of flamingos again. That’s three times in four years and a flock that now numbers more than 30 flamingos, if you’re keeping score. We have no idea who keeps flocking us but it’s quickly becoming a tradition. We’re considering wrapping scarves around their necks or putting Santa hats on them and calling them Christmas decorations. Maybe next year the flocker who keeps doing this could make this happen?

As 2019 comes to a close, as always, we hope that you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Happy Christmas!

I'm not even sure if this has made it to the people I mailed it to yet (and I'm not done mailing either so apologies to those seeing it here before in their mailboxes but c'est la vie.

Did you think (or hope) I’d forgotten to write 2017’s Knox year in review? Although it hangs over my head like the sword of Damocles and one of these years it’s going to fall, this year is not that year. Your Christmas miracle will have to come from another source. Sorry, not sorry. Oh, and fair warning, there’s language in this one, because, well… Keep reading and you’ll understand.

January: On New Year’s Eve a stray cat wandered into our garage and showed no inclination to leave. We searched high and low for the family surely missing fat and friendly “Jasmine” but had no luck. On New Year’s Day we woke up to a flock of flamingos in our front yard. Another flock materialized the day after K. removed the first six. No one has ever claimed flocking us despite how much fun it is to say. K. went back to Minneapolis for her Great Group Reads gig this month and so got her annual dose of snow and cold out of the way early.

February: D. took a new position with Salesforce. He’s doing something with the health and wealth clouds. If you know what that means, you’ve got more than one up on K. (although she’s not averse to a wealth cloud around here at all). Also this month, we decided that “Jasmine” would officially be a K. The vet took one look at our enormous cat and said what a beautiful boy he was. Apparently in this case, a lack of dangly bits just meant he’d been neutered, not that he was a she. So Jasmine is now Jazz-man and is fat and mostly happy as an indoor cat. Gatsby, however, is less than happy with the new family member and is practicing tolerance, at least when we’re watching.

March: D.’s new position increased his travel a lot so we rarely saw him this month. T. turned 15 and started outdoor track. He didn’t get over the bar at all in the winter season but did make height for the first time this month. It’s totally amazing the amount you have to learn when your kid takes up an unlikely sport. You Tube sure helps although matching the parts of his vaults with the parts of Olympic caliber athletes’ vaults for comparison can be a real challenge.

April: W. turned 20 this month, leaving us with only two teenagers. We can’t possibly be old enough to have a child who is so very old. In other news proving our age, our baby, T., started behind the wheel this month. Appropriately enough, when the older two were home for Spring Break, K. forgot there would be another car in the driveway and she promptly backed into it on her way to picking T. up from his final behind the wheel. Our insurance was so very pleased with all of these new developments.

May: R. finished up her first year at college and promptly head up to Michigan to wait tables at the Les Cheneaux Culinary School. W. chose to stay at home and work in dad’s favorite bar, eventually becoming the expediter in the back of house so he didn’t have to talk to annoying people like his father and friends. Heehee. Meanwhile, K. went to Maine on a girls’ weekend and barely resisted bringing home much lobster or moose printed stuff.

June: Our most exciting month yet, K. found a dark spot that turned out to be a hole above the cabinets in the kitchen. She thought it might be from mice until W. flushed his toilet as she stood on the counter looking at the hole. Yes, we have had a shit waterfall behind the kitchen cabinets for who knows how long. We know you’re insanely jealous of this unusual and long hidden water feature, right? So started the nightmare that is still currently ongoing: destruction, disinfection, repair, and renovation of the kitchen. A shit waterfall, y’all. We considered stopping the letter here because what else is there to say? But we’ll soldier on. Oh and to prove what a loving wife K. is, she and T. went ahead and left for Michigan on schedule leaving the mess for D. to sort out.

July: While D. and W. worked at home in hot and muggy Charlotte and R. worked close to the cottage, K. and T. kicked back and enjoyed their free time in Michigan, swimming, sailing, and relaxing by the nightly fire. T. also went to Michigan State for a pole vault camp this month. He was inordinately pleased by the fact that his hands blistered so badly that he had gauze mittens on his hands when K. picked him up. This is some sort of badge of honor or something. Teenage boys are weird!

August: D. and W. got to come to Michigan for a brief week of vacation before heading back to work. T. sailed in the Sunfish Regatta again and got second place this year. He’s either improving or he got lucky. Your choice. We had to head home to Charlotte so W. and R. could head back to college for their junior and sophomore years respectively and T. could start his sophomore year of high school. When we got home we realized the house is waging a war against us…and winning. Mold on several ceilings, a burning smell that turned out to be the furnace dying, and still working on fixing the shit waterfall, coming home was so pleasant. Not.

September: R. turned 19 this month, adding to the evidence that we’re definitely old. We went up to High Point for Family Weekend but we only got to see W. as R. had gone off to spend the weekend with a friend. It’s like we embarrass her or something!

October: K. was lucky enough to spend a week in Italy with her parents and sister this month. (Nothing like horning in on her sister’s belated birthday trip!) Only the W.s could have so many bathroom related disasters in one trip but on the plus side, they all know how to say toilet paper in Italian now. In more K. travel news, she headed to New York City this month for the WNBA’s 100th anniversary celebration. If you have to ask anything besides how many bookstores she visited while she was there, you clearly don’t know her all that well.

November: The house thought we’d gotten a little complacent so this month we found rotten windows that needed to be replaced. 14 windows and 2 doors later… Oh, and the kitchen renovation is still moving at a snail’s pace. ::sigh:: T. spent this month in rehearsals for his latest play, Triple Blind Date and juggling his acting with indoor track. We weren’t fooled by the indoor moniker this year though, knowing up front it’s all polar bear all the time.

As 2017 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from all of us to all of you

Love it (my mom) or dread it (the rest of you), it’s landed in your mailbox anyway: yet another Knox year in review, this time for 2016.

January: Starting off the year with a new position, K. took over the WNBA Great Group Reads Panel after being a reader on it since 2009. The new position came with an avalanche of books to read and a trip to Denver to attend the American Bookseller’s Association Winter Institute, where she had to talk to strangers, the only drawback of the job so far. With barely enough time to get home, unpack, and do laundry, K. left for Ohio, this time with R., to do some college visits.

February: This month we went up to High Point for a Family Weekend visit to W. He let T. (and Gatsby) spend the night with him in the dorm. We still haven’t been brave enough to ask him what all they did. We probably don’t want to know. The following weekend was Presidential Scholars Weekend at High Point for R. and since she was busy with activities, I’m sure W. was thrilled to be seeing mom for the second time in two weeks. Finally this month, K. and R. drove up to Pittsburgh for a final college visit.

March: T. performed as the Sheriff of Nottingham in The Somewhat True Tales of Robin Hood at the middle school North Carolina Theater Conference competition. Who knew that baddies from the sixteenth century rolled their eyes and pulled attitude just like teenagers today? It should go without saying that he’s fantastic at this but the judges agreed as he was awarded only one of five male Excellence in Acting Awards for his part.

April: This month, just like most of the months of the year, we almost never saw D. thanks to his insane travel schedule. At this point, he might have enough airline and hotel miles for us to move out of the house and just roam the country free forever. With two college tuition bills heading our way, we seriously considered it!

May: W. finished up his first year at college and promptly head up to Michigan to wait tables at the Les Cheneaux Culinary School. He is now especially thrilled when people ask him for balsamic vinaigrette or all about wine reductions. If you see him, be sure to test his culinary knowledge by asking about these two things in particular. While up north, he and K. got to experience boating in the snow. This is an even worse idea than it sounds like it is. Also this month, the 8th grade went to Atlanta. As neither of us was crazy enough to volunteer to chaperone, all we know about the trip is that T. came home with a t-shirt and other varieties of plastic tourist junk that kids can only buy when their parents aren’t with them.

June: This was a busy month for us as T. graduated from eighth grade one day and R. graduated from high school the next. T. earned an Achievement in Mathematics Award at his graduation, and no, he wasn’t the only kid in the class (we checked). Next we headed to “forced socialization with strangers” aka college orientation for R. D. could only pop over and embarrass her briefly because his tennis team was playing at States that same weekend. They won and headed off to Sectionals later in the summer.

July: R.’s final dance Nationals was in Nashville this month. We were lucky enough to stay with wonderful friends who not only took in dancer and mom, but also T. (who hung out at their house 24/7) and Gatsby, who discovered that horses are magnitudes of scale bigger than she is and therefore terrifying. After the last dance, we piled into the car and headed up to Michigan to rejoin W.

August: Staying up north a little longer than usual, T. had the chance to sail in the kid’s regatta. He took third, mostly because he was smart enough to sail with someone who was a better sailor than he was. We’ll have to teach him some sea shanties for next year so he can continue to crew. K. came down with shingles this month. The doctor kindly suggested that she was too young to get them (about the only thing she’s too young to get anymore) and she was lucky enough to have a really light case. Eventually we had to go home to move R. and W. into college. Despite going to the same school, we had to make two separate trips up there on two different days. This might have saved us money in not having to ship forgotten things if the gas cost didn’t cancel that savings out completely.

September: D. had a business trip take him to London this month and K. chose to tag along. He regretted letting her come when he saw the number of books she bought over there, and even more so when he tried lifting her luggage on the way home. This month was Family Weekend at college. So kind of W. and R. to make our lives easy and go to the same school. By the end of the weekend, D. had made friends with all of the roommate/suitemate/friend dads and I’m not sure we’ll be invited back for the spring weekend. And finally, R. turned 18 until this month, making us the parents of two adults and only one child. Proving that this idea never gets old, W. and R. insist on getting T. the children’s menu at all restaurants because he’s still a kid. (Can we get a collective “Poor T!” here?)

October: Because we enjoy paying outrageous car insurance, we thought T. should get in the act with his siblings and start to think about driving. K. took him out for his first experience behind the wheel in the elementary school parking lot. By the end of it, his leg was quivering and she was thinking about packing a flask the next time they go out. Really looking forward to him starting driver’s ed in December. No. Really. It was great.

November: R., her roommate, and several friends bought themselves a hedgehog a few months before this. Everything was all fine and dandy until Needles was discovered in their dorm room. This earned him a quick ticket to Charlotte since it was $25 a day to keep an illegal pet. He and K. are still adjusting to each other. And by that I mean he bites her, hisses, and puts up his spikes whenever he hears her voice while she calls him names and curses as she cleans out his cage. Pretty sure they’re going to be besties any time now. T. finished up what is probably his final soccer season and not wanting to create a vacuum in that space, tried out for the indoor track team. The coach decided he looks like a pole vaulter. We’re pretty sure that means he’s crazy, fearless, and completely willing to launch his body into the air using a swizzle stick. All we can say is yep, that fits. As 2016 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas to all

As we head into an election year, we thought we should refresh your memory of just who gets to vote this coming year. The fact that there will be four of us should not alarm you much, well until you read this: the 2015 K. year in review.

January: D. continued to mostly enjoy working from home except for the fact that K. did not appreciate his version of the water cooler chat: randomly appearing in the kitchen. She took to ordering him back down to the basement whenever he happened to pop up upstairs and threatened him with the enforcement of the no workplace relationship clause common in most employment contracts.

February: It’s official. There will be no medical doctors from this branch of the family. Frog dissection makes T. vomit. And the middle school is relieved to hear that he’s the last of the weak stomached K. children to come through their hallowed halls.

March: And then there were three: T. became a teenager this month. K. and R. were rear-ended driving home from a dance competition. These two things (three teenagers and being rear-ended) are actually pretty similar—angst and aggravation all around.

April: This month had some pretty big highs and a horrible low. K. was asked to sit on a blogging in the literary world panel at the local community college’s literary festival. It was even covered in the paper. While it hasn’t led to an increase in readership, it’s just an honor to be nominated. ;-) W. turned 18 this month, making him a legal adult despite K. being sure we just brought him home from the hospital yesterday. And this is also the month we lost our beloved Daisy dog. There are no words.

May: D. took a new position this month, Senior Service Cloud Specialist (don’t you just love corporate speak titles?—and no, K. can’t tell you what it means either), which calls for pretty constant travel. Only the airline miles people could tell you where all he’s been this year. T.’s show choir went to States in May after winning Regionals. Unfortunately he didn’t get to perform as he managed to throw up on his friend’s shoes on the bus on the way to the competition. The biggest disappointment in all of this was that the music director had finally granted him permission to sing at a regular volume instead of very quietly so no one got to hear the result of all those voice lessons. K. and D. went to London for their twentieth anniversary this month. This is the same trip that D. gave her for their tenth anniversary and their fifteenth anniversary. K. reckons that means she’s still owed two trips over there.

June: K. went to New Orleans for the WNBA National Meeting. She came home just a couple of days before W.’s graduation and immediately had to jump into party planning mode. Before W. even walked across the stage to get his diploma [(it was really in there—we checked! (misspelled name and all)], his first college tuition bill arrived.

July: Remember all of the news about shark attacks? Dance Nationals was in Myrtle Beach, just up the beach from most of the attacks. If R. and her friends weren’t too young to get the reference, they probably would have been unimpressed by K.’s Jaws theme song impression. After dance was over, we (and again, I am leaving D. out of that collective noun) headed up to the cottage, where K. was willing to get in the water, confident there would be no hungry sharks around. With an unpleasant sense of déjà vu, we went down the dock one morning to find the boat half-sunk. This is an improvement over the summer K. fully sunk one, but still not a fun (or cheap) problem to have. W. and K.’s dad partnered to win the tennis tournament up there, a fact that tickled them greatly but annoyed K., who had to play against them (and lost badly).

August: We sent our first baby off to college this month. W. headed to High Point University for his freshman year. Given half a chance, W. wouldn’t be the only one in college as D. suffered serious pangs of jealousy during move-in weekend. As W. started his freshman year, R. started her senior year of high school and T. his last year of middle school. Just in time for him to go to school, T. came down with mono. The source of the virus, and by that we mean her name, remains a mystery.

September: T.’s braces finally came off so the orthodontist is going to have to find another way to fund his kids’ college education. K. painted both W. and R.’s bedrooms but not T.’s this month. She wanted to make sure he gets the full “third child” treatment. She’s promised to paint his if and when he cleans it up so she can see what color the carpet is. This is why it took so long to paint the others’ too.

October: W. came home for fall break this month and it was wonderful to have him ignoring us from the same zip code instead of from afar. To be fair, if you text him about something football related, you’re likely to get a response. If you are his mother and you text him with a question or an “I miss you,” you are not.

November: R. hit send on her college applications and got her first college acceptance this month. D. is still trying to ignore the fact that this means she really will be leaving us next year. T. had his biggest role yet in the middle school musical playing Ed the dumb hyena. That he plays the baffled and befuddled so very well is either a sign of some impressive acting talent or is terribly concerning.

As 2015 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas From Our House to Yours

I was seriously considering not writing the annual letter this year. Then I realized that might be the nicest gift I could possibly give you all. And that would send the wrong message—namely, that I’m that nice. Knowing that my reputation was at stake, I had to write it again. So here you are, the much anticipated (or dreaded, depending on your perspective) 2014 K. year in review.

January: As the year started off, D. had some training to do for his job. Since the training was in San Francisco including over a weekend, K. flew out to join D., bravely leaving the kids home alone. We suspect they only knew we were gone when no one told them to go to turn off the video games and go to bed. Once home from SF, this month saw D. working from home for the first time. This is not ideal in K.’s world. She firmly believes that children go to school and spouses go to work (outside the home) so that mama can have alone time. Having D. around 24/7 makes hiding the bonbon eating that much harder. We also replaced the carpet all over the house this month. It looked great and felt cushy at least until…

February: when the dog barfed on it for the first (and certainly not last) time. This month saw the sunny South get walloped by Snowmaggedon, trapping us all at home for an unpleasant and unprecedented amount of time. Schools were closed for so long that the kids were losing vacation days and teacher work days right, left, and center to make up for the closings. Luckily the roads cleared just as the last roll of toilet paper got dangerously close to being finished. This month was also a hard one for us as we lost K.’s beloved grandmother, Eny.

March: T. turned 12 this month, moving us dangerously closer to having three teenagers living under one roof. And K. celebrated yet another birthday at yet another dance competition for R. The things we do for our children.

April: This month, the whole family went to Wooster for D.’s fraternity reunion. While D. channeled his long buried inner frat boy, K. subjected the kids to a college tour (given by K., the former tour guide, natch) and outlet shopping. Although the reunion happened on W.’s 17th birthday, K. showed proof of age and maturity (!) and declined to allow W. to party with anyone trying to relive his own youth, including his father.

May: In May, K. went to New Orleans with a couple of friends to go to the Romantic Times Convention. What could be better than learning all about the taboos in romances, laughing through cover model karaoke, and playing in NOLA? The weekend away, booked many months in advance, coincided with W.’s junior prom and R.’s dance recital. This left D. in charge of pictures and the logistics of getting everyone where he or she needed to be. The latter happened with a little help from friends but not surprisingly, there are only two pictures of the prom goers.

June: K. traveled again this month. (See what having Dave home 24/7 drives her to do?!) She went to Detroit for the Women’s National Book Association National Meeting since she is still President of the Charlotte chapter, at least until someone else volunteers to take it over.

July: K. and the kids headed down to Florida for dance before heading up to Michigan for a much needed break. With so much driving, K. wanted a long book to listen to so she chose Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. She had high hopes that the kids would all sleep through the sexier bits (and there are some seriously sexy bits) but that clearly didn’t happen as W. started calling the book 50 Shades of Scotland and finding it very awkward to listen to it with his mother. You just never know what kind of interesting education you’ll get in the car.

August: School started this month; we now have a senior, a junior, and a seventh grader. This can’t possibly be right.

September: K.’s 25th high school reunion was this month and based on the success in January leaving the kids home alone, we tried that again. Obviously, the last time was a complete fluke. First, R. was stranded with no way to get to her dance class (one phone call with a hysterical child and many follow up phone calls with friends who stepped in and fixed it for me), then the kids set off the alarm letting the dogs out of the house and didn’t answer the phone when the alarm company called to verify they were okay. Yep, police at the door. Then, because bad things come in threes, T. broke his arm on Saturday but we didn’t know it until Monday (nor did he go to the doctor until then either). Best yet, it was a break in such an unusual place, it indicated the possibility of abuse. Not sure how much better it looked to admit we were 1,000 miles away without having left a responsible adult in charge but this fact somehow seems to have spared us a Child Services report.

October: R. competed in the Miss Dance of South Carolina competition and finished as second runner up this month. This should really mess with the heads of those of you who have finally learned that Charlotte is in North Carolina. Yes, we live in NC but she dances in SC so the SC competition is the one for which she is eligible. How she’s going to explain that discrepancy on college applications so they don’t think her geography is atrocious, I don’t know. Also this month, K. took W. on his first college visit. Luckily it wasn’t a college he has any interest in attending because he wore a t-shirt that said “I’m Just One Big Freaking Ray of Sunshine, Aren’t I?” and cargo shorts, didn’t shave the shadowy fuzz on his chin or upper lip, and when asked what he was looking for in a college, named everything that this particular college wasn’t. Driving home, K. offered some gentle constructive criticisms of his appearance and interview skills. When W. said he really didn’t want to listen anymore, she turned 50 Shades of Scotland back on. Mom for the win!

November: R. turned 16 in September but had no interest in getting her license until she realized that W. and D. would be in Ohio on college visits for several days before Thanksgiving and she’d have to take the bus to school if she couldn’t drive herself. Suddenly getting her license was *very* important and we are now going to be selling plasma as we have to insure two teenaged drivers. This month also saw T. in the middle school musical. He was Cubby the Lost Boy in their version of Peter Pan Jr. He seriously disliked wearing eye liner and was less than impressed when K. discovered that she had no makeup remover to get it off. It was still on when he went to school the next morning. Maybe that’s what the fortune teller in New Orleans was seeing when she said one of the kids was going to be Goth. Just before W. and D. left (where W. had the gall—and lack of diplomacy—to say that the official Wooster tour was better than the one K. gave him in April), W.’s first college acceptance letter arrived. You’ve never seen such celebrating! (And this means the basement will be available for visitors next year if any of you are so inclined.)

As 2014 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas from our house to yours

This year's Christmas letter is not really up to my usual standards but since it almost didn't get written, you all can take what you get. (Oh yeah, Merry Christmas too.) Here you go, in case you aren't already on the burgeoning card list:

Like death and taxes, the annual K. Christmas letter is inevitable. Hopefully reading about our misadventures is at least slightly more appealing than those other inevitabilities, though if not, this paper probably makes a good gerbil cage liner. You’re welcome. So, once more into the breach: the 2013 K. year in review.

January: Do I ever manage to remember what we’ve done in January or does it always get lost in the mists of time and my aging brain? Once again we’ll just assume that this was probably an uneventful, dull month. (And maybe next year I’ll make up something completely amazing—or, more likely, I’ll forget again.)

February: R. decided to be vegetarian for the month so W. requested bacon for breakfast on the 1st. And I made it for him. As you can see, we’re all about familial support here. In addition to taunting his usually carnivorous sister with meat all month, W. made the school tennis team again. The fact that their uniforms included collared shirts, a style he loathes, was a bit of karmic payback for his bacon baiting.

March: R. was thrilled to be signed up for driver’s ed over spring break. OK, not really. She was really annoyed to be getting up and heading to a classroom by 8 am on a week she shouldn’t have been in school. Strangely enough, our kids seem to have no desire to ever drive. Hope they don’t think I’m going to chauffeur them forever.

April: T. took up archery this month. He really loves it, especially when the instructors tack dollar bills to the target and announce that anyone hitting them can keep the money. He may not hit the bulls-eye often otherwise but when money is involved, he manages to send his arrows true every time. Also this month, I fell on the tennis court and split my head open. We’re happy to report that no brains leaked out but there were copious amounts of blood, which never came out of my shirt. So much for my laundry prowess (and my tennis prowess too, if we’re being honest).

May: T. got braces this month, giving us two orthodontic bills at once. The new metal in his mouth didn’t slow him down in the elementary school musical, Annie Jr., though. He volunteered to play every non-singing role available (he wanted a singing role too but family tone deafness made that an impossibility) and now he’s pretty sure he belongs on the stage, ideally in a starring role.

June: I was elected the Women’s National Book Club—Charlotte Chapter President this month. I did run unopposed and only after a bit of arm twisting so don’t be too impressed. As school wound up for the year, T. had the honor of reciting the Pledge of Allegiance for his 5th grade moving up ceremony. The reason, according to him? He’s loud. Well, we all have our gifts. R. had her dance Nationals in Myrtle Beach and the girls’ production number was named Best of the Beach National Champions. I still think that since we never did lay eyes on the beach while we were there that the title should actually be Best of the Auditorium but nobody asked me.

July: We (and for another summer, I’m once again not including D.) spent most of the month at the cottage relaxing and doing our usual swimming, sailing, tennis, reading, and sitting by the fire. W. played in the annual LCYC “Butzie” tennis tournament and he and his partner were runners up. I promptly stole the pretty engraved glass mug from him and it is living on one of my bookshelves now (fairly certain he’s forgotten about it by now too so he may never get it back).

August: We came home from the cottage early this year because I had to have a colonoscopy. Luckily I got the all clear and can now put it all behind me (egregious puns intended). Later this month, T. started middle school, officially ending our years in the elementary school and the illusion of being the parents of young children, as if a colonoscopy itself wasn’t representative enough of advancing age.

September: We barely saw D. at all this month as he traveled all over the state and the country for work. I just traveled all over the Charlotte area driving kids to tennis and dance and soccer. Unlike D., I at least got to sleep in my own bed at night.

October: I decided to make the most of my time at the DMV this month and took both W, to get his license and R. to get her permit on the same day. For anyone who is curious, even a two-fer at the DMV is painful. And of course, even more painfully, this now means we have to pay for a teenaged boy driver and we get to start the learning to drive process all over again with yet another kid. At least we can use the money we save on R.’s braces to pay for W.’s insurance since she got the braces off in time to have her permit picture taken with naked pearly whites. T. was back on stage again this month in the middle school’s version of Fiddler on the Roof Jr. Again, he didn’t have a singing part, thank heaven. He played a villager and a Russian and he did disturbingly well as a bigoted bully. I’ve been threatening to abandon the family forever now but I finally did it: I went to Chicago with a couple of friends for a weekend. While the kids didn’t seem to miss me much at all while I was gone, the dogs were very grateful I came back. (D. was grateful too, if only because that meant the dogs moved back over to my side of the bed to lean against me again.)

November: D. took a new job at Salesforce.com this month. One of the major benefits of the job is that he’ll be traveling a lot less, except for the fact that his first day on the job was in San Francisco, where we don’t live. With promises like this, politics might be his next career!

As 2013 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas from my family to yours

(As always, I reproduce our family's Christmas letter for all of you, my loyal readers.  Enjoy and have a very Merry Christmas today.)  I almost didn’t write the annual letter this year but then decided it wouldn’t feel fully festive at all of your houses without the much anticipated craziness from here.  I’m just sure you all stage a reverent and dramatic reading of the letter and far be it from me to deprive you of such joyous entertainment.  But seriously, if I don’t recap the year, the kids will never have anything concrete to point to in therapy and we certainly can’t have that.  Without further ado, the 2012 K. year in review.

January: Starting the year off with a bang, the school called to inform us that T. had created an inappropriate password for some educational site they were using.  The story is long and involved and too inappropriate even for my Christmas card so you know it’s bad.  (Although feel free to ask us about the story because we do love to tell it.)  But to prove that we are once again not in the running for parents of the year, both D. and I busted out laughing when we heard the password(s).  I think this is the earliest that we’ve a) ever been called by the school and b) that we’ve kissed that parents of the year award away.

February: After 10 years of abuse, the minivan’s transmission finally pooped out and K. had to get a new van.  The very next day D. also got a new car.  He might have been operating under the influence of new car smell and so not entirely sober when he signed those papers.  K. understood as the new car smell was pretty enticing, at least as long as it lasted (not long, incidentally) against the usual funk of dance shoes, sweaty socks, and various other stinky kid stuff.  Also this month, W. made the high school’s tennis team.

March: T. hit double digits (10) which means we no longer have any little kids at our house, not that he’s ever thought of himself as a little kid.  R.’s dance competition season started to hit full stride and even K. got to participate on stage this year, tossing bathrobes and shower caps above a folding screen.  Pretty sure it was the tightly choreographed tossing by the moms that garnered awards no matter what the dancers believe.

April: W. flunked his vision test at school this month.  He was sure it was equipment error and that he was seeing just fine.  One visit to the eye doctor later, although he’s still in denial about his blindness, he is now sporting glasses, which probably helped his tennis game just a bit.  In a moment of weakness, K. agreed to chaperone T.’s field trip to Linville Caverns.  She didn’t make anyone cry and all children emerged unscathed from the cavern.  Aside from the massive migraine she developed, clearly a raging success.

May: After 3 years of being a model middle-schooler, apparently R. thought that she should get in on the school calling parents act.  At least hers was simply a dress code infraction.  Guess what it looks like if the last time you put on that skirt in the fall you were several inches shorter?  Never mind that mom didn’t even notice how short the skirt was as the kid flew out the door.  Oops!  Best yet was that K. hopped over to school to take R. some shorts while wearing a tennis skirt that was far, far, far shorter than what R. was wearing.

June: W. got his driver’s permit this month.  He seems to be channeling a little old man when he drives as his preferred top speed is about 10 mph.  Even so, K. has gotten really good at clutching the armrest and hitting the imaginary passenger-side brake.  She also fears for her side view mirror and all the neighborhood mailboxes.  D. just plain refuses to drive with him and that might be best for both of them!  Also this month, K. had a benign cyst on her head removed leaving her with a hole in her head (which might be why she continues to encourage W. to practice his driving).

July: Once again we headed to Michigan as soon as R.’s dance Nationals finished.  Amazingly we had 5 whole weeks up there this summer.  And by “we,” I don’t mean D.  But if you’ve been getting this letter for years, you already know that.  He did get to join us for a week this year though.  T. took a boating safety class and got his boat license.  Too bad it’s not valid for another four years.  He’s already called getting to drive the boat first once he’s officially legal at 14.

August:  As of this month, we have two kids in high school!  W. as a sophomore had a lot of words of advice and warning for freshman R.  Luckily her momma didn’t raise no dummy and she didn’t believe a word he said.  Also, once home from Michigan, the kid activities ramped up again rather quickly. Tennis for W., dance for R., soccer for T., and gassing up the minivan for K. (Yes, that last bit is lifted verbatim from last year’s letter but I see no reason to reinvent the wheel, especially since it’s still true.)  D. and K. went on a scuba trip over Labor Day weekend.  Unfortunately, K. perforated her eardrum again on the first dive and spent the rest of the trip completely high on pain killers and hideously jealous of D. getting to dive.

September: D. took a new job at EMC this month.  His new fancy pants title is Director, Client Solutions for the Virginias and the Carolinas.  The job requires more travel for him, often three days a week, but the dogs really appreciate the extra space in the bed those three nights.

October: Some people have dry ice smoking on their porches at Halloween; K. chose to shun illusion and had real smoke, lighting the oven on fire this month.  Aside from blackening the oven light so it no longer lights anything with the oven door closed, nothing else untoward occurred as a result.  Of course, you may want to think twice about eating at our house given such mad cooking skills.

 November: D.’s tennis team made states this month.  Oddly enough, no stories have made it home from this weekend away.

As 2012 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas from our chaos to yours

One of these years we’re going to shock you all by skipping the letter and just sending a picture of us looking all perfect and shiny. That’s when you’ll know we’ve jumped the shark (or just plain gotten lazier than usual). Luckily for you, that year is not yet to be so you can thoroughly enjoy another year of our misadventures. Without further ado, the 2011 Knox year in review.

January: In the interest of starting the year off rather stupidly, Kristen ran the Disney half marathon with her sister, without training for it. Actually, if we’re going with full disclosure, Kristen ran (and walked rather a lot) of the half well behind her sister.

February: T. managed to fall twice this month and ended up with a soft cast on his right arm after the second time. Thankfully the final verdict was not broken but for the several days it took to hear that, Kristen had to struggle with fourth grade math. I mean she had to write out all his homework for him.

March: Kristen turned 40 this month. Remember when 40 was old? Yeah. It still is. Her parents took her with D. and without kids to Panama to celebrate. Three of the days there were spent learning to scuba dive, which Kristen took to like a fish to water (I know, big groan!) and was sorry to resurface each day. D. had a little more trouble adjusting his buoyancy but Kristen found it greatly entertaining to watch him float up towards the surface while the instructors chased after him to tug him back down.

April: The kids had spring break this month and we all traveled to Atlanta to watch Kristen’s dad scuba dive at the Atlanta Aquarium. The trip reminded us why we don’t love staying in hotels as a family given the arguments over the beds and the tv and the pullout. Good quality family time.

May: As the school year started to wind down, we found ourselves all over Charlotte and surrounding towns/states with dance competitions, tennis tournaments, and soccer games for the kids. Kristen and D. rarely saw each other because in order to make it all work, divide and conquer had to be the month’s game plan. We tend to split down gender lines but Kristen thinks next year it’s D.’s turn to do the dance hair and make-up and she’ll go burn, I mean bask, in the sun at an outdoor game/match.

June: We finally decided to acknowledge that we have three children and re-wrote our wills to include T. (He’s not even in double digits yet so we’re right on top of it!) The kids will be pleased to find that we have left them all of our debts. And one lucky family member will be less pleased to find we’ve left her our children for the duration. Perhaps we shouldn’t tell her that the lawyer says she can always turn the responsibility down as he made us give him a lengthy back-up list of guardians. And he hasn’t even met our kids!

July: As is usual, after R.’s dance nationals in Tampa, we headed to the cottage for vacation. Nothing like adding 8 driving hours to our usual 15. W. came down with the creeping crud this summer. After stumping the ER doctor, the dermatologist declared it the worst case of impetigo she’d seen in a long time. A cartload of drugs later, he was left only slightly polka dotted across his entire torso, a highly fashionable look for a 14 year old boy. D. was unable to make the cottage this year, spending his time traveling for work instead. Good thing he likes his job. And at least he got to avoid the contagious cooties flying around up north.

August: R. got braces on right before starting her last year in middle school. Luckily she is generally unfazed by them and usually resists ugly rubber band color combinations. W. started high school this month even though we’re pretty sure we’re not old enough to have a kid this old. Also, once home from Michigan, the kid activities ramped up again rather quickly. Tennis for W., dance for R., soccer for T., and gassing up the minivan for Kristen.

September: R. hit 13 this month. Yes, that makes two teenagers in one house at the same time. Pretty sure that should garner us a very fancy pity party or something.

October: D. was awarded the Microsoft Greater Southeastern Division Services Executive of the Year. This is really code for “the guy who knows the most people in any given bar in the greater southeastern US.” And anyone who knows him knows that he truly deserves this award!

November: W. got his braces off this month. D. turned 40 and had to stop teasing Kristen about being old. Kristen ran the Savannah half-marathon with friends and despite not training for the race again (bad habit, anyone?), she did actually run the entire way this time. Then, just to make her sound sportier than she really is, her tennis team went to states in Wilmington, NC the following weekend and ended up taking fourth place.

December: Kristen, belying her mature age, ruptured her ear drum this month, just like she used to do when she was four. She might have whined about it a bit more now though. Also this month, T, earned his very first tournament medal for soccer (2nd place). Kristen is now busy trying to get him to throw away all those stupid and meaningless dust-collecting “participation” trophies. He’s not on board yet but she’s determined to sway him eventually (or just slowly chuck them while he’s at school and can’t argue—because, after all, she’s the mom and can do evil things like this).

As 2011 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.

Merry Christmas!

photo from www.countryliving.com.

Merry Christmas! Although my regular readers probably know all of this already thanks to my propensity for oversharing, I thought I would still share our somewhat edited family Christmas letter with you. You probably already knew I wouldn't write the typical Christmas letter and this one has been judged not up to my usual standards by my ever discerning husband and mother, but apparently we were fairly boring this year. No matter, I still want to wish all of my readers a vrey happy Christmas and a safe and prosperous New Year.

January: Since we moved to the sunny South, there was snow this month. Lots of it. And snow days off of school. More of them than ever before in recorded history. (Okay, I made that up but it might actually be true.) Sort of entertaining to see the kids sledding down hills that are mostly mud slicks with a few stubborn, off-white patches of snow scattered around. Well, entertaining until K. went to do the laundry and discovered that the red clay mud permanently stains clothing.

February: D. had surgery to repair a hernia this month. He claims it was a result of K. making him carry and move heavy furniture. Such a delicate flower. ;-) But the hutch in the dining room looks great! We had a phone meeting with the school to discuss some of the issues that W. continued to face with bullying. If it can’t disappear, it’s at least marginally comforting to know the school is being active in dealing with it.

March: This month saw the advent of dance competitions for R.. Traveling to each of these offered insight into the South as we passed “concealed carry class” and “deer processing done here” signs as we drove through the back of beyond. Also this month, R. started her stint on safety patrol for school. Don’t be fooled. This is not an honor. It meant that she had to be at school a full 45 minutes earlier than usual and since that made riding the bus not an option, we all had to drag ourselves out of bed at an insanely early hour of the late night (note: it was so early it wasn’t even morning).

April: Spring sports ramped up with soccer (T.), baseball (T.), tennis (W.), and dance (R.) all claiming demands on our time. Too bad you can’t earn frequent flier miles in the car or we’d be entitled to all the perks around! Also this month K. cooked her very first Easter meal. She sort of overestimated how much ham to cook and we were eating it for months and months and months. Thank heavens for freezers! W. turned 12 this month, promptly moving from the back into the front seat of the car. This upset K.’s apple cart as the passenger seat was formerly considered her office and now must actually stay free from clutter.

May: We had a proud day this month when T. brought home a note from his teacher requesting that he change his clothes daily because he was smelly and dirty. I think she was actually slightly more diplomatic than this but we’re good at reading between the lines. K. is clearly up for mother of the year, never having noticed that T., despite his closet *full* of clothing, was recycling the same outfit daily for a week at a time. Perhaps he was just trying to reduce his carbon footprint and save on energy and water for laundry. In any case, green he was: mossy, grungy green.

June: As is the case every year, this month found us spinning like gerbils on wheels wrapping up the school year, finishing up sports seasons, and planning the logistics of getting from NC to MI and back and forth and back again the following month. Meanwhile, D. continued to drive all over North Carolina, South Carolina, and occasionally even Georgia for work so that we rarely saw him for longer than a few minutes at a stretch.

July: Summer was rather wet and drippy for us this year. And it rained a lot too. On the way from the mainland to the cottage, with all our luggage, all five of us, and the dog, we sank K.’s parents’ boat. It’s amazing how fast a boat goes down and K. refuses to believe that the 75-80 books she had on board hastened the watery demise. The only thing to stay dry on the boat? T.’s bathing suit. Please try to refrain from hysterical laughing when you picture a panicky D. out on the bow of the boat trying to keep his work laptop from getting wet, with nary a thought of his family going down with the ship.

August: R. started middle school this year so we now have two children living through some of the most miserable years known to childhood. I mean they’re thriving as they head into young adulthood. But you knew what I meant, right?!

September: The kids had a real life demonstration of why sneaking food and stashing it in their rooms is a bad idea aside from the fact that it makes K.’s head spin alarmingly. Daisy found chocolate and proceeded to need much medication and time at the vet’s to recover from her bout of bloody chocolate vomiting. This science experiment on the effects of poisoning is not recommended. (Hey, at least it wasn’t a result of the Easter ham, which we were still eating this month.)

October: Because K. doesn’t read enough on her own initiative, she volunteered to be on the WNBA National Reading Group Month panel which chose a selection of books to designate as Great Group Reads for the month.

November: R. danced in her very first Nutcracker ever. Well, danced is perhaps a bit of a misnomer, since she ran across the stage as a party boy, marched across as a soldier, and stood around looking darling as a sweet. All that entertainment was provided for the very low price of about a zillion dollars. She enjoyed herself so much that we are all refraining from mentioning the lack of dancing on her part. But we do have it on DVD for anyone visiting and wanting to suck up to Miss R.

And that’s 2009 in hindsight. As another year comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.