(As always, I reproduce our family's Christmas letter for all of you, my loyal readers. Enjoy and have a very Merry Christmas today.) I almost didn’t write the annual letter this year but then decided it wouldn’t feel fully festive at all of your houses without the much anticipated craziness from here. I’m just sure you all stage a reverent and dramatic reading of the letter and far be it from me to deprive you of such joyous entertainment. But seriously, if I don’t recap the year, the kids will never have anything concrete to point to in therapy and we certainly can’t have that. Without further ado, the 2012 K. year in review.
January: Starting the year off with a bang, the school called to inform us that T. had created an inappropriate password for some educational site they were using. The story is long and involved and too inappropriate even for my Christmas card so you know it’s bad. (Although feel free to ask us about the story because we do love to tell it.) But to prove that we are once again not in the running for parents of the year, both D. and I busted out laughing when we heard the password(s). I think this is the earliest that we’ve a) ever been called by the school and b) that we’ve kissed that parents of the year award away.
February: After 10 years of abuse, the minivan’s transmission finally pooped out and K. had to get a new van. The very next day D. also got a new car. He might have been operating under the influence of new car smell and so not entirely sober when he signed those papers. K. understood as the new car smell was pretty enticing, at least as long as it lasted (not long, incidentally) against the usual funk of dance shoes, sweaty socks, and various other stinky kid stuff. Also this month, W. made the high school’s tennis team.
March: T. hit double digits (10) which means we no longer have any little kids at our house, not that he’s ever thought of himself as a little kid. R.’s dance competition season started to hit full stride and even K. got to participate on stage this year, tossing bathrobes and shower caps above a folding screen. Pretty sure it was the tightly choreographed tossing by the moms that garnered awards no matter what the dancers believe.
April: W. flunked his vision test at school this month. He was sure it was equipment error and that he was seeing just fine. One visit to the eye doctor later, although he’s still in denial about his blindness, he is now sporting glasses, which probably helped his tennis game just a bit. In a moment of weakness, K. agreed to chaperone T.’s field trip to Linville Caverns. She didn’t make anyone cry and all children emerged unscathed from the cavern. Aside from the massive migraine she developed, clearly a raging success.
May: After 3 years of being a model middle-schooler, apparently R. thought that she should get in on the school calling parents act. At least hers was simply a dress code infraction. Guess what it looks like if the last time you put on that skirt in the fall you were several inches shorter? Never mind that mom didn’t even notice how short the skirt was as the kid flew out the door. Oops! Best yet was that K. hopped over to school to take R. some shorts while wearing a tennis skirt that was far, far, far shorter than what R. was wearing.
June: W. got his driver’s permit this month. He seems to be channeling a little old man when he drives as his preferred top speed is about 10 mph. Even so, K. has gotten really good at clutching the armrest and hitting the imaginary passenger-side brake. She also fears for her side view mirror and all the neighborhood mailboxes. D. just plain refuses to drive with him and that might be best for both of them! Also this month, K. had a benign cyst on her head removed leaving her with a hole in her head (which might be why she continues to encourage W. to practice his driving).
July: Once again we headed to Michigan as soon as R.’s dance Nationals finished. Amazingly we had 5 whole weeks up there this summer. And by “we,” I don’t mean D. But if you’ve been getting this letter for years, you already know that. He did get to join us for a week this year though. T. took a boating safety class and got his boat license. Too bad it’s not valid for another four years. He’s already called getting to drive the boat first once he’s officially legal at 14.
August: As of this month, we have two kids in high school! W. as a sophomore had a lot of words of advice and warning for freshman R. Luckily her momma didn’t raise no dummy and she didn’t believe a word he said. Also, once home from Michigan, the kid activities ramped up again rather quickly. Tennis for W., dance for R., soccer for T., and gassing up the minivan for K. (Yes, that last bit is lifted verbatim from last year’s letter but I see no reason to reinvent the wheel, especially since it’s still true.) D. and K. went on a scuba trip over Labor Day weekend. Unfortunately, K. perforated her eardrum again on the first dive and spent the rest of the trip completely high on pain killers and hideously jealous of D. getting to dive.
September: D. took a new job at EMC this month. His new fancy pants title is Director, Client Solutions for the Virginias and the Carolinas. The job requires more travel for him, often three days a week, but the dogs really appreciate the extra space in the bed those three nights.
October: Some people have dry ice smoking on their porches at Halloween; K. chose to shun illusion and had real smoke, lighting the oven on fire this month. Aside from blackening the oven light so it no longer lights anything with the oven door closed, nothing else untoward occurred as a result. Of course, you may want to think twice about eating at our house given such mad cooking skills.
As 2012 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.
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