Wednesday, May 6, 2009

How to know you are winning the poor parenting sweepstakes

Have your youngest tell you his teacher thinks he sweats too much on the playground. When you sarcastically ask him what her solution would be, listen as he tells you without blinking that she wants you to look closely at his clothing and make sure he's not wearing any of it the following day. Then search back in your memory to a day when he wasn't wearing said clothing. Keep searching. Finally light on a day. Now search back and remember when you last saw said clothing in the laundry. Keep searching. Keep searching. We'll wait. Be very glad that he seems to have missed your sarcasm in asking for a solution to the sweating. Wonder when it will be most convenient for Child Services to come and check out you and your spacey, neglectful self so you can try to plan to not be at home (although they would probably be impressed by the lack of dirty clothes around the house--they are all on his back, of course--and by the amount of clean clothing hanging untouched in his closet).

This makes continually forgetting to make a derm appointment for the kid with warts or a second family counseling appointment for all of you messed up wingnuts sort of pale in comparison. As for the dentist...


  1. Oh crap...I just remembered, I forgot to make the dentist and eye doctor for the last 6 months. And since its only 8:24 here, and they don't open until 9, I'll probably forget today as well. My kids are and have been for YEARS in the stage where they'll change their flippin' clothes 4 times a day and throw them all in the laundry hamper. I've even found a shirt in the hamper that was still folded! I think she put it on her bed to wear, changed her mind and just tossed it into the hamper! Arrghh...makes me crazy! I do more laundry than any human needs to do. When summer starts..they can all wash their own!

  2. LOL! I'm right up there with ya, K. Occasionally it dawns on me that I'm really not seeing a whole lot of my youngest's underwear showing up in the laundry. But it took a trip to my MIL for the problem to really come to the surface, when she called him (and DH, who was with him) on the fact that there were NONE of his boxers in the load of laundry she had just done for the week... ew.


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