God bless kids

Anyone contemplating having children should try mine out before making that life-changing, forever-after commitment. Things they've done recently that could make me cheerfully wring their necks:

Mom's towel is somehow better than their own towels so when I came home from my run looking forward to my shower, my towel was already cold and soggy from use.

The beasties love nuts and despite asking them nicely to crack the dratted things (I buy them shelled but the ones we have now were a gift and therefore still in their shells) over the garbage, I still had sharp shells all over the floor and counter. This is particularly not nice to discover in bare feet.

Children numbers 2 and 3 went through their closets this weekend as requested. I had loads of clothes to fold and put into a box for my sister's munchkins. I did not also expect to find a mountainous pile of shirts that still fit sprawled across child #3's floor instead of in the closet where he originally discovered them.

As if the wet towel wasn't enough, when I came home from my run, I also discovered a frying pan coated with egg left on the stove for the kitchen fairy to clean-up. The kitchen fairy also found raw egg dripped down the front of the cabinents. Gack!

The basement, aside from the one day *I* worked very hard and made it immaculate, is and has remained a landfill for Toys R Us since we moved in.

Because sneaking things seems to be standard procedure for the K. kids, I also discovered an old receipt wrapped around something that had been chewed up and spit out on the (carpeted) floor of the basement closet. Yes, it was all glued to the carpet and no, I still haven't figured out what it was originally although chocolate seems to be the prime candidate right now.

This is all just what I've discovered so far in the past two days. I swear pets are easier! So if you are thinking about having kids, get a puppy. You'll thank me for it.