So tonight in an effort to avoid repeating first grade, I sent D. downstairs to help T. instead of helping myself. The task was to find 3 facts for the first grader to tell his class about catfish (his chosen animal for the animal mask he also has to make--all due tomorrow, of course). For those of you without young children (and I honestly don't know why you would read my ramblings if you don't have kids but, just in case...), it is important to note in all of this that first graders are 6 years old. So you know the mask was going to be crap and the facts would be basic. Apparently though, D. forgot that. The facts that T. reappeared upstairs carrying, all written by dad, were:
1. Catfish are a very diverse group of bony fish.
2. More than half of all catfish species live in the Americas.
3. Catfish have one of the greatest range in size within a single order of bony fish.
Sounds like a first grader to me. Doesn't it to you? Now I ask you what self-respecting parent expects a 6 year old to be able to read this sort of thing to his class? (Or be interested in these dreadfully boring facts?) The poor child wouldn't know what he was saying, never mind being incapable of reading some of these words. Thanks for all that help with the kid homework dear!
Incidentally, when I helped T. find new facts to replace these stupid ones (not that I'm judging, mind you, we came up with these--rendered in first grade writing and spelling with translation to follow:
1. Catfish wiscrs are calld barebells. (Catfish whiskers are called barbels.)
2. Catfish have no sacls. (Catfish have no scales.)
3. One cind of catfish can walk on land. (One kind of catfish can walk on land.)
I guess I would be okay in first grade again. At least I'd know age appropriate responses to the homework!