I went to the DMV with a neighbor who is also new. Now the DMV is not generally a chuckle inspiring place but occasionally you have to be mean and laugh at others' complete idiocy. T. and I knew what documents we needed to have with us in order to become official card carrying NC citizens and I had even duly read through the written test crib sheet I found online. So I strolled in, registered, and proceeded to sit in a waiting room just about forever before I even got to take the test. Meanwhile, T. was trying to be allowed to take the test at all given that her social security card is still in her maiden name (what's a mere 16 years of marriage anyway?). To prove that she was that person, she did have her birth certificate and marriage license, as well as countless other pieces of paper. Turns out that her birth certificate was unacceptable as identification because, and I quote, "Your married name isn't on it." Funny, that. My parents married me off to my husband long before registering my birth, how about yours?!
After my successful NC patriation, and T.'s unsuccessful attempt, we stopped by a mattress store because she and her husband need a new mattress. As she noted, mattress stores should not have white mattresses for display since they rapidly become grimy looking. In addition, they should not drape a velveteen-inspired throw across the end of a bed they have also decorated with a long velveteen pillow. This look does nothing but bring to mind a funeral parlor. But I digress. The salesman, who was the proud possessor of a whopping one tooth in his bottom jaw, encouraged her to lay down on the bed. Given that her main concern was waking her husband with tossing and turning, he suggested that I lie down with her. I told her I didn't know her well enough to sleep with her, at which point we busted out into giggles and the salesman went off to deal with less irksome, more mature customers. She didn't get the bed (and I could feel every toss and turn). And we went home with my day having been mostly successful and T.'s having been a huge disappointment all the way around. I mean, she had to find out that she wasn't married at birth like the rest of the world and I refused to be seduced. LOL!