Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Thoughts From a Comically Slow Runner

I ran almost 5 miles today. Alone. This is a big deal. The friend I've been running with twice a week let me know she couldn't make it and while I had more than 24 hours to work through it, I am not very good about running by myself. She was sweet enough to text me to say that she figured I'd go farther without her along to hold me back. She's too nice for her own good. I know well enough that she was running farther (and probably faster) before I totally imposed myself into her solitary runs. So if anyone's holding anyone back, it wouldn't be her. Just sayin'. At any rate, since she challenged me (ok, so she didn't, but I had to take it that way or my bed would have won this morning), I did run farther than we had been running, almost 2 miles longer. I also forgot how long the new route I chose to take was, so that's a bit to blame for the extra distance too. Being challenged and being incapable of remembering simple distances.  Makes you really want to run with me sometime, doesn't it?  Poky slow airhead who is oddly competitive.

First, I looked at the weather when we normally run and burrowed back into my warm bed with the dogs. It was chilly and windy. No need to run in that. It would surely be warmer and less blowy later. Nope. By 11:00 I had lost all hope so I pushed myself out the door anyway. Less than 5 minutes into my run I passed a neighbor. And lest you think I actually run faster than anyone on earth, let me reassure you that when I say passed, I mean I was running one direction and she was running the other. I had on a long sleeved t-shirt (non-wicking) and shorts. She had on a knitted toboggan, a down vest, long sleeved shirt, gloves, and pants. She probably thought I was crazy. I thought she was crazy. If I tried to run in all of that with temps even 1 degree above freezing, I'd probably spontaneously combust or have the most curious case of heat stroke ever. As it was, I was soaking wet with sweat and had discovered entirely new orifices out of which to leak water by the end of my run. Fat girl obviously has her own personal internal combustion engine.

As I neared the one mile mark, I was still debating with myself which route I intended to run. It was at that point that some really inspirational music came on the iPod and I decided I could in fact run more than 3 miles. Wondering what sort of music might possibly make someone decide to run longer? Well, country music, then acoustic stuff, and then the Disney star stuff from 7 or 8 years ago that my daughter once loved. Clearly I was in an hallucinatory state when I decided this. Plus I need better music to run to. I haven't run this other route in a good seven years. Lots of things had changed since then. Not least of which is that the road somehow lengthened considerably while I was busy making a permanent indent in my couch cushions.

But I could do it, right? Nope. I hit the turn around point and my brain won the battle. Actually my stomach won the battle. It threatened to cast up the protein bar I had for breakfast. Nothing pretty about belching up protein bar while you run. It's also not pretty to belch up protein bar while you walk but at least the rest of you doesn't hurt so much. So I walked a couple of minutes. When I thought it would be safe to speed up again, I trotted off, rewarding myself with the promise of another short walk once I hit the busy road I had to cross. Yes, mind games are us, at least they are for me whenever I run. As I made my way home, I did notice that the leaves were blowing across the road much faster than I was running. That was a bit depressing at the time, if you must know. Although since the computer says the wind was blowing at 15 mph, I guess I can live with it. At my speed, I'm probably just lucky to have laid eyes on the leaves at all before they zoomed away.

Despite the two small walk breaks dictated by my head rather than my legs, the run actually felt pretty decent. I was my usual disgusting, sweaty mess at the end of it and my fingers did start tingling twice despite making sure I wasn't clenched up tight at all. I even turned around and went on a couple mile trail walk with a friend to walk her dogs after I was finished. I didn't much want to get out of the shower after I was finished with all of it and our water bill is going to look like we're watering the lawn during a drought summer but I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now. Ask me tomorrow if I can still walk though. ;-)

1 comment:

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