The annual Christmas letter from my house to yours

For all those of you who don't get the hard copy of my Christmas card, and really, you might not want to since you practically have to fake your own death to get off the list once you're on it, here's what you're missing:

We considered just writing “The K.s had a year” and leaving it at that this year but then we decided that all of you (hereafter known as the adoring public) would miss your yearly dose of schadenfreude. We couldn’t have that and so without further ado, the 2010 K. year in review.

January: Our house was a petri dish of disease this month. Not only did we have sick kids home from school (one or more almost every day of the month) but the sickest kid (both in terms of illness level and duration) managed to even give our computer a virus. We just couldn’t catch a break. But the biggest news of all this month was that a mere year and a half after moving in, Kristen finally managed to unpack the last, lingering box. Pretty sure that’s a speed record.

February: This month, like every other, D. drove all over the south for work. He can tell you the location of every Panera in the Carolinas thanks to their free wi-fi. Also this month, after months of etiquette and manners lessons, R. went to her Cotillion ball. Parents were not allowed to stay and watch but we’re certain that we’ve paid to successfully turn her into a giggly Southern belle.

March: The advent of spring brought about the filling of every block on the calendar again. Dance competitions, tennis tournaments, and soccer games all ate up the weekends and practices consumed the week nights.

April: W. officially became a teenager and Kristen’s stylist gave her a sample of that purple shampoo to make grey hair shine. Coincidence? We don’t think so either.

May: D. took Kristen to Asheville for their 15th anniversary this month. Kristen was pleased to note that the Vanderbilt family, while having a cooler library than she has, had only a handful more books than she does. D. thinks this is a sign of an obsession a tad out of control but Kristen begs to differ. This was also the month that Kristen dove head first into co-chairing the middle school book fair. She was very likely the person who bought the most books at the event too. (Trying to catch up with those Vanderbilts and all.)

June: The weather turned appallingly hot this month and therefore, according to the principles of Murphy’s Law, the air conditioning went out not only in the house but also the car. This made driving to all the still running kid activities rather unpleasant.

July: Every Daisy needs a Gatsby or so we decided. Our Gatsby is a miniature schnauzer who quickly became the family alpha dog. (Poor Daisy.) Our month at the cottage was rather shorter than a month this year thanks to the timing of R.’s dance Nationals. Kristen’s grandmother ended up in the hospital so all of us traveled home instead of just Kristen and R. We did go back north after the competition was over and enjoyed a couple more weeks watching Daisy ignore Gatsby as if her life depended on it.

August: We headed home from our abbreviated time at the cottage this month only to be caught up in the usual whirlwind of school and sports starting. T. took a lesson from his older brother and started the school year off by ignoring any and all homework. Good to know that the agenda notebook we have to buy every year will be put to good use yet again.

September: Kristen walked the VA Beach marathon with a friend without having trained properly. It was so much fun to be contorted in pain she plans to run one without proper training in January. D. and some friends went to the Penn State-Alabama game this month. Stories from the weekend continue to emerge but Kristen’s favorite will always be the one where the attractive young coed walked up to the guys, suggested that they looked like they were having fun, and then asked if her dad could join them!

October: W. added another adolescent woe to his life: braces. He chose to get the rubber bands on his brackets in Ohio State colors. Way to show (ugly) team spirit! Also this month, Kristen signed herself up for adult dance classes. Aside from her general lack of basic coordination, it was good fun. The fact that she actually managed to stand upright again after attempting to do splits surely means she’s not as much like the hippos in Fantasia as the room’s wall of mirrors would imply.

November: R. has always been a creative child and she’s taken to making herself jewelry. Almost every day this month has debuted one of her new creations. The latest in her collection? Festive Christmas earrings that spell HO. That’s right, not HoHoHo, just Ho. And parents of the year that we are, we let her wear them out in public. Maybe someday you too will be able to purchase her unintentionally entertaining creations.

December: R. took the SATs this month. She said that the English section was easy because it was mostly grammar. She was unimpressed that Kristen is taking credit for this supposed ease (although Kristen abjures all responsibility if her score is low). Please note the SAT word in the previous sentence and then tell me again where credit is due! Oh, and just to be fair, Kristen only takes credit for passing on the math gene, not for actually teaching R. anything if the math score is respectable. D. starts a new job with Microsoft this month and everyone should expect deeply discounted software in their stockings this year. Hopefully the amount of travel he has to do will lessen and we can all go back to remembering to say we have five people in the family without having to pause and think about it (or count on our fingers).

As 2010 comes to a close, we hope that all of you are surrounded by family, peace, love, and happiness now and throughout the coming year.