How to know you are winning the poor parenting sweepstakes

Have your youngest tell you his teacher thinks he sweats too much on the playground. When you sarcastically ask him what her solution would be, listen as he tells you without blinking that she wants you to look closely at his clothing and make sure he's not wearing any of it the following day. Then search back in your memory to a day when he wasn't wearing said clothing. Keep searching. Finally light on a day. Now search back and remember when you last saw said clothing in the laundry. Keep searching. Keep searching. We'll wait. Be very glad that he seems to have missed your sarcasm in asking for a solution to the sweating. Wonder when it will be most convenient for Child Services to come and check out you and your spacey, neglectful self so you can try to plan to not be at home (although they would probably be impressed by the lack of dirty clothes around the house--they are all on his back, of course--and by the amount of clean clothing hanging untouched in his closet).

This makes continually forgetting to make a derm appointment for the kid with warts or a second family counseling appointment for all of you messed up wingnuts sort of pale in comparison. As for the dentist...