If dropping my bag of cheesy pretzels (chewing keeps me awake--and yes, I know gum would be less distressing come scale-time but I loathe gum) is a sign from the heavens that I should quit eating RIGHT NOW before I explode, why on earth was I allowed to forget my running shoes at mom and dad's? And is this a good enough excuse to buy newer shoes given the amount of money we spent on Christmas? (Never fear, I do have an older pair of shoes at home so I can make do, if I just find the motivation, although I like the idea of getting to buy new ones.)
Do people who drive 40 on the highway not understand what a hassle it is for those of us who drive 80 to have to slow down for them? Corollary to that, if your truck looks like the opening credits from the Beverly Hillbillies, chances are that you shouldn't be on the highway. When banjoes hit the highway, they splinter badly.
How do I make sure that my music doesn't download onto the kids' iPods? They would like some of it (it was fairly entertaining to have them act shocked and surprised that I am so very cool as to have current music on my iPod although Build Me Up Buttercup damaged my credibility a bit) but some of it is a bit sketchy for pre-teens. I mean, I am a grown-up and therefore the explicit version is okay for me. And how on earth have we raised children who can pick the swear words out of generally incomprehensible lyrics at one tiny level above mute but cannot hear a single thing when they are asked to do something for me?
How can everyone not love classic songs like Fat Bottomed Girls, Paradise By the Dashboard Lights, I Will Survive, and December, 1963? (I probably just killed my "cool" factor even more, didn't I?)
I came up with any number of pithy Facebook status updates while driving but do you think a single one stuck with me long enough to post it? Of course not!
Why do the kids all fall asleep just when you notice you're going to have to stop to get gas? And why can they not fall back asleep once the gas has been gotten?
Must dance shoes stink up the *entire* car? And since that is a rhetorical question, why must they come with us on long drives? Why must *any* sporting equipment accompany us on long drives? I need all available space for the strangely multiplying stuff that finds its way into the car on the way home (like the rejects from mom's pantry, because I'm likely to use that bag of stuffing mix any time soon, right?!).
Is it a rule that everyone on the road must pull off at the very same exit and that that exit will have only one gas station, necessitating sitting in line for the pump? Bet I was the only one who had a book handy to keep me occupied while I waited. ;-)
And finally, would Nintendo start making less annoying music for the DS? I have to turn the iPod and my inappropriate music up to ear shattering decibels to drown out the soul destroying, repetitive and tinny cacophony that they are obviously using to lull us into oblivion as they prepare to take over the world. The big question, though, remains: Are they Pinky or The Brain?